Friend in Hand

I'm so gothic, I shit bats!!

For those of you who regularly tune in to JJJ, Sam Simmons needs no introduction. For those of you who don't have a brain and have never heard of him, he's only the wackiest, randomest, most hilarious dude to grace the stage/airwaves/tv screens in freaking forever.

I've been a super huge fan for a hella long time, I even follow him on the Twit (DORK!), so I was totally totally stoked to find out he was performing/testing out some new jokes at Friend in Hand in Glebe for $10. Win-win! See Sam Simmons super cheaply and tick off another bar as part of my challenge - you beauty!!

What TimeOut said:

"Did you know that this awesome Glebe local has an early licence? You heard us - that's an 8am start every day except Sunday, when the pub opens at 10am. There's always plenty on at the Friend including crab racing, stand-up comedy and theatre sports. Sunday afternoon drinking sessions here are legendary and you can take part in life drawing classes if the mood takes you. Get your beat on with slam poetry on the first Tuesday of every month and race a crab for free every Wednesday. Fancy a little comedy or even doing some stand-up yourself? You can do it on Thursday nights for a tenner. Cheap-as-chips pub grub from the adjoining No Names bistro seals the deal."

What Bel said:

Friend in Hand is probably the most wacked-out pub I have been to in a really really long time. And I mean that in the best way. Matt and I strolled down from our place after dinner in search of beers and Sam-Simmons-laffs. We'd never walked there before and thought we might have got a bit lost, but just in the nick of time, before Google maps backup needed to be called upon, we stumbled upon on Cowper St. For future reference kids - Cowper St is the street right near the school. My new years resolution is to read street signs in my suburbs to avoid scenarios like this moving forward. Not knowing street names in your extremely local area is mucho embarrassing.

I was a bit nervous that it might have sold out considering it was $10 entry, so we headed straight upstairs where the comedy magic happens (ew, I just typed magic like majik for a sec) to grab a seat. It wasn't too packed at all when we arrived, around 7.45, there were still plenty of seats and comfy, worn couches to choose from. At comedy shows I'm always SUPER scared about getting heckled sitting really close to the stage, so we found a nice protected corner with a wicked view of the stage and the Friend in Hand Christmas Tree. I just realised I'm making this sound like some grandiose performance space - it's more like a crazy bag lady's attic with a 2m squared stage. Ha! Way to talk it up Rowntree...

One thing I TOTALLY DUG about the decor were the amazing DIY wine glass candles they had dotted around the room. Inspired me to make some (will never happen).



We'd already had dinner, but the monstrous (read: 12 minute) walk left us parched as bru. I would have totally felt out of place asking to see a wine list or cocktail menu, so Matt and I ordered two schooners of frothy, delicious Coopers Pale. No sitting at tables, no drinks on the bar, just drinking beer sitting in a chair. Totally casual, totally awesome. We didn't order any food, but we watched as people went running downstairs, buzzers in hand, to return with plates full of amazing looking parmas, nachos, steaks, wedges and generally delicious-looking pub food.

The beers were excellent (as they always are) and the local acts were pretty good value too. The first guy was atrocious, there was a super funny guy who talked about being from Adelaide and he said the word 'rapey' in relation to dating website profiles, a HILARIOUS guy from Canada had Matt and I nearly wetting our pants and one guy based one of his jokes around football players raping girls and having oral sex with dogs. Funny but kind of obvious, yes?

Sam Simmons was obviously the drawcard of the evening, when I ran downstairs to use the facilities there was a big SORRY FULL HOUSE sign across the stairs. Speaking of the bathrooms, hows this for like, totally best idea ever - the friendly staff have printed out hilarious email forwards and stuck them on the door, so you're miffed that you have to wait but then you're loving it cos there's awesome jokes to read! LOL, right?!

But back to Sam, he was incredible.If you're after stand-up comedy that involves Christmas carols sung to the tune of the Star Wars soundtrack or taco shells being smashed into bare skin, he's your man!

And if the hilarious comedy isn't quite enough for you, they have one of those amazing tarot wizards downstairs (OMG, TAKES ME BACK TO BEING 15 AGAIN!!!).

So next time you're wandering around in Glebe (or Gleb-ee as the weird french stand-up punter kept saying...) look for the clown, grab a schooie, race a crab and make friends with the Friend in Hand.

Friend in Hand
58 Cowper St
Glebe 2037
(02) 9660 2326

Alira

Let me just start off by saying one thing. Alira, I have a massive crush on you. Oh no wait, two things. Promise I'm not doing the Bar Guide in alpho order.

Holly and I had tickets to the Clinique Superfood Superskin dinner party at Doltone House in Pyrmont. All day we'd been discussing what sorts of things we'd see on the menu that night. Salmon, definitely. Chia seeds, absolutely. Goji berries, probably. Bread, NOWHERE. Alcohol, tough to tell, but it doesn't exactly do wonders for your skin so it's fairly safe to say probs not. So considering Holly and I aren't the smallest eaters I know, and lord knows we love a drink, a little bit of preparation was needed juuuuuuuust in case our fancy dinner party ended up involving us crying into our raw mushroom and tofu lemongrass broth (which it kind of did).

Pyrmont and I have never really spent THAT much time together, but I knew if we were on Darling Island Wharf for dinner, we were only going to be a hop, skip and a cocktail away from some nice bars, hopefully involving some arvo sunshine, nice bevs and scrummy starters. Some TimeOut Bar Guide mapping recon was completed before we left the office - turned out Alira was a teeny walk from where our event was being held. Yesssssssssss.

What TimeOut said:

"Alira is the ideal locale for some after-work drinks where you can gather your thoughts as the sun sets over the harbour. As far as ground-floor locations go, they don't come more picturesque than Alira. The bar and restaurant is nestled on the far side of Jones Bay Wharf, secluded from the hustle and bustle of the nearby CBD. The bar has been well designed so that the interior and outdoor spaces blend into one another. The well-considered cocktail list boasts an excellent Bloody Mary and a sweet-yet-sharp Aperol Sour with limoncello, Aperol, vanilla sugar and orange bitters. Don't worry if one drink turns into a few and it's dinner time; the menu features a two-person, DIY, wood-grilled lamb sandwich."

What Bel said:

Well they were spot on when they said tucked away! We were second guessing ourselves as we walked along the length of Pirrama Rd thinking hmmmm, it HAS to be here somewhere! But our thirst for a good cocktail before we tucked into some delicious superskin food was strong strong strong, so we hung in there and found it in the end! Literally, the end. Like, THE end of Pirrama Rd just about. Turns out it was about 5 wharves further along than we thought it would be. What losers. Anyhoo...

Alira has got possibly one of the BEST spots in the pm on the whole, entire harbour. When Holly and I arrived, maybe around 6.15, it was completely drenched in that really delicious afternoon sun that makes everyone look tanned and gorgeous. It was a little windy. Ok, a lot windy, but while the sun was out, it was really lovely. You don't get massive views of the harbour because it's right at the shore end of the wharf but that kind of doesn't matter. It's sunny, it's super adorable, and it's walkable distance from my house. WIN WIN WIN.

The OTHER thing TimeOut were spot on about is the layout of the bar. Inside are long wooden benches to eat and drink at, the walls plastered with colourful and crazy posters mainly from the Middle East and Spain. Holly and I mentioned that it looked like it would be really cosy inside in the cooler months too, with big, rustic rugs on some of the walls.

The same benches as inside are on the outside too, as well as a few smaller tables for littler groups. And there are lanterns EVERYWHERE! I have got SO much time for lanterns. So there you go, Alira, you had me at lantern.

Holly happens to be one of the massivest foodies I know, so when we grabbed our menus from the waitress, she was straight into the food, which must have been like torture for her. So much of it looked so so good, but we weren't there for huge eatin' we were there for drinkin' / time wastin'. We knew we'd be fed at the Clinique dinner, so we didn't want to fill up. Although hindsight would tell us we should have eaten as much as we could have BUT THAT'S ANOTHER BLOG POST LOL. Cocktails were definitely in order though, and we thought we'd go for the Sours. I ordered an Amaretto Sour and Holly got the Pisco Sour.

The drinks were like liquid summer, mine much sweeter than Holly's which was quite sour but still fantastic. Um, which is why they're called sours. Der. The thing I've never really understood about sours though is the egg white. Why? I don't understand why it's there, what does it mean? Sours are always delicious, but egg whites smell. So if you order one ever, DON'T PUT YOUR NOSE TOO CLOSE TO THE GLASS. Trust me on that one.

Our bevs were fantastic, but we're both renowned cocktail skullers so we thought 1) these are going to disappear in an instant if we don't order food and 2) we're about to go to a dinner party that serves food that's good for your skin. Food that is good for your skin doesn't generally include any good stuff, like carbs. So we thought we'd order a couple of plates to share. Preferably the ones that come with bread. Everything looked incredible so we got our waitress to help us pick. She told us the Morrocan eggplant salad was the most popular starter, so we got one of those, and she recommended the sheep's milk labneh as her favourite, so we ordered some of that too. And PRAISE THE SWEET LORD they came served with TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF BREAD. Totally amazin'.

I'm not even kidding, the eggplant, I could have bathed in. It was so scrumptious and packed full of flavour. The labneh was smooth and creamy and just a little bit bitey, just like good labneh should be. The flatbreads that came out were yummy just in themselves. The thicker version was nice and toasty warm and not too doughy like some bad flatbread can be. And the thinner crispy version was like eating this scrumptious smokey paper. YUM!

Had we known that we would be served these miniscule, beauty-industry-sized courses at the Clinique dinner (they were super super tasty dishes prepared by Luke Nguyen just TEENY!) we probably would have preferred to stay here, sipping our Sours and eating our way through Northern Africa, the Middle East and Spain. Oh well, plenty of time for that.

Alira

Shop 120, Jones Bay Wharf

26-32 Pirrama Rd

Pyrmont 2009

(02) 9518 4884